• Steve and Melissa Burnett

JB Weld in the Oilfield


Good Monday Morning. I hope every body is ready for a new week, and ready for all the political bs to be over with. It has been extremely annoying to get the computer generated texts from both political parties. Mine always have the same message and from different number so you cannot block them. It was my chalk board fingernail moments this year. I raise my cup of coffee to salute 4 more great years and say to my petroleum tech students, Kybree.

This cartoon is based on a couple of true stories. I was on a pipeline inspections (for my day job) a couple of months ago and the pipeline companies welding inspector made a comment about a welder's bead and said, "Where did he go to school? The JB school of welding." I thought that was very funny and made a note about it. A little insight to my process. I make notes about a lot of stuff, and a lot of it I have no idea how I will use it so it will set in my notes for a few months. So this weekend I was looking through my notes and came across the JB comment. The second part of the true story is while I was working in the Gulf of Mexico, 79-95, I actually had a production foremen tell me he wanted me to go to one of our satellite platforms and repair a high pressure steel flowline leak with JB Weld. My polite reply to him was something like; "Oh hell no, have you lost your dam mind!" To say that sometimes I am not the most pc person on the location would be an understatement. Anyway that is anther story for some other time. When I tell that story you will understand why the oilfield's Gulf of Mexico at the time was the most dangerous occupation in the world. So when I had recorded the JB comment a few months ago I was trying to use it on the platform incident. However I could not come up with anything that made it work in a humor situation. When I found it this weekend I did not think about the platform knucklehead I though of it simply as my snowflake trying to weld. I knew the welding truck would be the key to the humor. That is why I placed the big tubes of JB weld on the back of the truck. The problem I ran into is that I usually paint the pipe and equipment gray, and JB weld is actually gray. I wanted to keep the JB weld gray so I changed the color of the pipe ugh but then it blended into the background too much, uggh. So with a little color manipulation on my computer I got a better, however not perfect, contrast with the pipe and the background. That is about the extent of my technology skills and the program I use they do not even make anymore. I have a copy downloaded on a flash so if when I have to get another computer I can hopefully still use the program. Anyway I hope you enjoy my cartoon and if your production foreman tells you to use JB weld to repair a High Pressure Leak I suppose in today's pc world you have to reply; "I respectfully decline person, due to it will interfere with my emotional well being to travel to a remote location to participate in your ideological idiocracy, regardless of how it is justifiable with your lack of experience with the defined request."

May your boots be dry, your coffee fresh and may you not have to deal with production foreman's contaminated with ideological idiocracy, Amen.

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